Why Is It So Difficult To Get A Literary Agent?

Our agency recently had a bad experience with a writer. He posted a vicious blog after we turned down his work. (Apparently 316 other agents had rejected him and we were the straw that broke the camel’s back.) Luckily, it’s noteworthy when that kind of drama explodes.

But I’m not unsympathetic to his disappointment; finding an agent isn’t easy. Most of my friends are writers; I’ve spent many hours helping them craft a submission list and compose a query letter. I feel personally involved in their hunt! And I’m always surprised at how long it can take for a debut author to get his work read and then taken on — even while I realize intellectually, that when an agent passes, it’s not a judgment on your work. Here’s why:

*  When an agent is established and has a big list, she might decide that your book is too similar to others on her list. Or her father is dying. Or she’s had a baby. Or four of her clients have just submitted their work.

*  There is no objective reality in publishing. I can send out a manuscript to 28 editors, I’ll get rejects from 27 of them (each of whom will have a completely different response to the book) and it will become a bestseller.

*  Agents spend most of their time tending their clients; they’ve got to keep their lists small, otherwise they won’t get their work done.

*  Book agents and publishers are like venture capitalists. Agents are figuring out whether a project is worth an investment of their time. Publishers, of course, are weighing the possible upside to an investment they know is more likely to disappear.

*  When a literary agent reads your manuscript here is what he is thinking: Who can I send it to? Where will it be placed in Barnes and Noble (or what kind of metadata will be used)? Will this bring in money? Reviews? Can I visualize what needs to be done editorially to get it into shape? Is this in a category that I’ve been hoping to move into? Will this be fun to work on? But most of all, it’s: Do I have enough time to do a good job for this author?

* A Literary Agent always wants to fall in love. There is nothing in Bookland that is more enticing than a debut author: No bad sales figures! Endless potential! The drama of discovery! In other words, we want you to be our Cinderella; we want the slipper to fit; and when it does, we will commit with all our heart.

This is why an author can only spend twenty percent of her time looking for an agent. Getting a literary agent is like searching for a job. You’ve got to do it seriously and methodically, but the rest of your life needs to be spent writing the next book, and well, living your life.

What Makes Me Wary, What Makes Me Happy

What makes me wary:

* When a new writer looks me in the eye, holds my hand and says, “I really, really want to be a New York bestseller.”

*  When an author says, “My last agent just didn’t know anyone in Hollywood and didn’t know how to make my book into a movie.”

*  When a writer says, “I want to write in this genre type,” but then it turns out she’s never read the competition.

*  When a new writer proudly announces that she knows exactly which literary editors I should send her book to.

*  When a writer asks me if I’m interested in selling the new book in a series she is self-publishing.

What makes me happy:

*  When a writer says “I’ve written five books and had two agents. But here’s something new.”

*  When a writers says, “I like the books on your list.”

*  When a new writer says, “First, let me tell you the story.” And then the story is so spooky strong that I just want to listen to what he has to say.

*  When the first paragraph of a manuscript submission is just so strong that I immediately send it to my Kindle and then almost miss my train stop going home that night.

*  When I’m reading a manuscript and forget that I work in the publishing industry and then I snap back to reality and start to compose a submission list.

Query Letters that Worked

Before you get started on the first of fifty drafts of your cover letter, I urge you to look at publishers’ catalogues (which are issued about four months before a book is published and are used by sales reps to pitch their company’s titles to booksellers). Hachette makes those and all their various imprints available online.

I’ve seen a lot of query letters that worked by adopting this method. Generally, each book gets a page in the publisher’s catalogue, and all houses use the same general formula/template: The first sentence is the hook or the handle or the one-minute elevator pitch. The next paragraph highlights the story itself. The third paragraph describes the book’s competition, its comparable books. The fourth paragraph tells you about the author and her credentials. Off to the sides of the main text, you’ll generally see quotes or reviews.

Draft your query letter as if it’s catalogue copy.  Of course the letter will sound clunky and artificial at first, but you’ll be able to smooth it out.

If you’re not getting agent responses to your current query letter, try this approach. I’ve seen a lot of query letters that worked this way.

About Literary Film Agents

Don’t be afraid to ask your agent what her plan is re sending your book out to the movie business — even though she’ll sigh just a bit.

Here’s what you need to know about literary film agents (assuming you’ve gotten your audio rights covered). There are three good times for an agent to get your books into the hands of literary film agents:

* When an agent has just taken on a book and is really, really excited about it. The idea is high-concept; the agent thinks it will go for a lot of money. Hollywood loves the chase. So the agent sends the book to suitable literary film agents. An agent takes on the book. And the literary agent and the film agent go out to publishers and producers simultaneously.

* When the book has just been acquired by a publisher. The announcement appears in Publishers Marketplace. Assistants to producers and studios and film agents want to read it. But if the idea isn’t high-concept and cinematic and sexy…well, this can also be a place and time where film dreams disappear.

* Just as the reviews are being published.

But the fact is that most books are discovered by film people almost accidentally, and for some reason these accidents seem to disproportionately involve airplanes or children or college roommates. A producer slips into first class and asks his seatmate what she’s reading. A producer falls in love with a middle-grade series when he reads it to his nine-year-old daughter. The college roommate of the author is now working at a studio. Yes, yes, of course it doesn’t happen this way all the time, but what your agents wants you to know is that this is the most unpredictable aspect of the publishing business and that she has very little control over whether Hollywood or Netflix will decide whether to acquire your novel.